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7.23.2014

"Why/how are you still single?"

Okay, so how many of you have ever been asked or have asked someone: “why/how are you still single? You’re such a great person/so smart/so pretty/handsome (any variation).” I have been asked that so many times that I feel obligated to answer it on my blog. Let me start off by saying for most of my life I’ve been single.
Literally, maybe 11 non-consistent months of my entire life I haven’t been. Growing up in a conservative and strict household I wasn’t allowed to date until I graduated high school, which was around 17 turning 18 for me, plus being a daddy’s girl didn’t help my cause. Though in high school I was never the girl to be/need to be in a relationship, not because I wasn’t allowed to, I just didn’t want to. Why is that? Honestly, I feel like you learn whom you are on your own. I’m not saying that being in a long committed relationship hinders anyone from growing/learning/etc, you need to learn to be happy and who you are when you’re by yourself.

Now you’re wondering, “Alex come on you’re 20 I think you’ve had enough time to learn who are and be happy with yourself,” well you’re absolutely right. I have and I love it. Am I opposed to the idea of being in relationship? Of course not! ..Well not anymore. I used to be Miss Independent, “I don’t need no man” type of girl, and probably gave off an intimidating vibe to guys. Here’s a secret I still am that type of girl, just minus being intimidating. I am independent, I can do things on my own, I can change my own tire, jump my own car, I can cook, I can keep things clean and organized, I pay for my cell phone bill, car insurance, car taxes, buy own groceries when I find the time and that just means I’ve grown up. I am an adult now, those are things I’m responsible for now- that’s the word I was looking for, you have to be responsible of your own life. I’m not talking about being a boring and dull adult, because being an adult doesn’t mean you’re boring and dull.

Trust me…I have a sense of childlike wonder and humor. I’m bubbly, active, fun and I think it’s super duper important to always be young spirited. I think in order to have a successful relationship you have to have your life together-be an adult, be responsible, take care of yourself. You should be looking at ways to constantly better yourself and not be complacent where you are. I’m still learning and trying to do that. Okay now here’s the kicker, listen up guys, I don’t want to date to just date. You read correctly. I don’t want to have someone there to hold my hand or watch movies with (those are just little advantages of dating); I want to date to potentially find the person I’ll marry. Whoa, seems even scarier than being an adult. And you’re so right, because I’m terrified too. I just don’t see the point of dating if that’s not the objective so to speak? Maybe that’s just old-fashioned of me though. Dating just to have someone there? I disagree. Keep in mind, I’m talking about a legitimate relationship here, not “talking”, getting to know someone, etc. That’s why you have to learn to love yourself first and you won’t need the constant comfort and affection, once you have that down too then, in my opinion, you’re ready. I like to think I’m ready enough to meet someone now if that were the case, but I enjoy being young, single, and free. The root of it is I don’t want to just date, I want to seriously date eventually; once I find someone who I feel like is worth the time and effort I’m willing to put in don’t worry I won’t hesitate. But until then I’ll have fun being young, single, and free.